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July 11, 2003
Tom Cruise: My Struggle to Read
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Cruise (at the MENTOR awards) says he avoided reading aloud in class "like the plague. Man, that was embarrassing."
(Bill Davila/FilmMagic.com)
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Graduating high school in 1980, "I was a functional illiterate," says Tom Cruise, who hid his problem for years. Cruise, who showed signs of a learning disability beginning in grade school, says he finally learned to read as an adult through Study Technology, a learning method developed by L. Ron Hubbard, founder of the controversial Church of Scientology. Last month Cruise was honored by MENTOR/The National Mentoring Partnership for his work with the Hollywood Education and Literacy Project (H.E.L.P.), a nonprofit organization whose volunteers offer free tutoring, using Hubbard's system, in 26 communities around the world. Though H.E.L.P. has its detractors, Cruise, a Scientologist, has provided financial and public-relations support for the program. "I don't want people to go through what I went through," says Cruise, who sat down with senior editor Jess Cagle to talk about his painful, private struggle as a child and his fight for literacy.
One of my dreams, as a child, was to be able to fly an airplane. My whole life we moved around a lot. As a young child, everywhere we went, these are the things that traveled with me: a stuffed animal for the first few years and pictures of planes — a Spitfire and a P-51. When I was 22, when I was making Top Gun, I got the chance to make my dream come true — to become a pilot. I thought, "This is the time to do it," so I had a couple of lessons. But then I just blew it off.
When people asked what happened, I told them I was too busy preparing for the film, just didn't have time. The truth is, I couldn't learn how to do it. When I was about 7 years old, I had been labeled dyslexic. I'd try to concentrate on what I was reading, then I'd get to the end of the page and have very little memory of anything I'd read. I would go blank, feel anxious, nervous, bored, frustrated, dumb. I would get angry. My legs would actually hurt when I was studying. My head ached. All through school and well into my career, I felt like I had a secret. When I'd go to a new school, I wouldn't want the other kids to know about my learning disability, but then I'd be sent off to remedial reading.
I made new friends in each new school, but I was always
closest to my three sisters and my mom. As a kid I used to
do ad-lib skits and imitations for my family. I always enjoyed
making them laugh. My mom kept saying, "You've got so much
potential. Don't give up." She worked three jobs and took
care of my sisters and me, but with everything she had on
her plate, she would also work with me. If I had to write
an assignment for school, I would dictate it to her first,
then she would write it down, and I would copy it very carefully.
I went to three different high schools, so I was always given
the benefit of the doubt for being the new kid. And I had
different techniques for getting by in class. I raised my
hand a lot. I knew that if I participated, I'd get extra points
and could pass. If I had a test in the afternoon, I'd find
kids at lunchtime who'd taken the test that morning and find
out what it was like. next:
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